Instant-Messaging Recommendations for Parents

Many Norwood students are using the internet for “instant messaging” while at home. Instant messaging is a feature of the internet system that enables people, often many at one time, to chat with each other simultaneously, by typing messages into a shared window. This vehicle, although useful, can be a complicated and difficult social setting for children.

We would like to emphasize how important we believe it is that you supervise your children while they are on a computer. It is much easier to say unkind words to someone over the internet than it is to say those same things in person, or even on the phone. We strongly encourage limitations on the “IM” feature of your computers and hope that you will speak with your children about appropriate words and comments made on the computer.

There are several different instant-messaging programs. The most popular are A.I.M. [AOL Instant Messenger], Yahoo, Trillian, Skype, and MSN Messenger. We recommend that parents know their children's screen names, and the people on their children's "buddy lists." Ask your child to go through their buddy list and identify each name. Remove any buddies who cannot be identified.

Technology is a fabulous tool and one for which we are just tapping its myriad uses. This amazing tool does, however, have some pitfalls. We, as the adults, must ensure that children use technology in appropriate and safe ways. Your assistance is invaluable.

Thank you for your continuing support.

Sincerely,
Susan B. Rosenbaum
Susan Stadnik

Instant Messenger Help Sheet for Parents by Mr. Briar

Instant-Messaging Guidelines for Safety
from the Media Awareness Network

• Know who is on their "buddy list"
  Because the people they meet online may not always be who they say they are, kids should only approve people for their IM lists if they or their parents know them in the "real world." (It's not uncommon for people they don't know to ask to be invited to join their lists.)
  
   
• Make sure kids protect their personal information
  Adults should sit with young people when they fill in registration forms for IM software such as ICQ or MSN. This is a good opportunity to teach kids about protecting their privacy. Some IM programs ask users if they would like to create a "personal profile." But because this information may be made available to other users, children and teens should not do this.
  
   
• Direct students to IM software that doesn't offer access to chat rooms
  Many IM programs offer access to chat rooms where users can talk to strangers. One popular program offers a link to chat rooms right on the opening screen, even if users have "opted out" of the chat option when registering. Explain to students why this can be a problem. (AOL Instant Messenger and MSN Instant Messenger offer programs where you can effectively opt out of chat.)
  
   
• Keep passwords private
  Often kids will share the passwords to their IM accounts with friends—which can open the door to misuse of their accounts. Remind students to choose passwords that can't easily be guessed by others. Random combinations of letters and numbers are best.
  
   
• Watch what you write
  Students need to understand that humorous put-downs that might be funny in the real world, may fall flat in instant messaging and e-mail. (That's because 90 per cent of face-to-face communication relies on non-verbal cues, which are missing in written communications.) Online, it's always best to be polite.
  
   
• Report pornographic spam to the service provider
  Even in accounts that have been carefully set up, pornographic messages and spam are a frequent problem. (This is why children and young adolescents shouldn't have instant messaging accounts.) Such messages should be blocked, and then forwarded to the instant messaging service provider.
  
   
• Watch out for infected files
  The file-sharing options of IM software can transmit serious computer viruses. As a precaution, it's best to disable the options that allow other users to download files directly to your computer's hard drive. Alternatively, show students the file-sharing settings that require them to give permission before a file can be downloaded.